Life Uses: Sneak Attack! It's Super Effective!

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you, huh?

Well, that's what people say anyway. I was finishing applying for classes this semester when a song came on. It was a song from a musical put on just about 5 years ago. Which made me intensely nostalgic. 5 years?! High school?! How'd I get to be a senior in fucking college?? At what point in my life did I decide it was fashionable to wear blazers?! And when did I get my own car?? Yesterday I was plotting shit out during yearbook committee. Now I have to think about where I want to work, what city I want a new apartment in. What it'll feel like to pay for my own insurance.

Yes, I know. I sound like everyone else. It's just that this stuff comes and goes. Well, not exactly. The feeling of having to deal with life comes and goes. It's just hard to process how much time has passed between my sophomore spring break in Italy and this upcoming one...which will be my last, presumably ever.

I have a lot of feelings about this. Sometimes, I can't wait to be done. All I want is to have my actual own place, a job, and a permanently stocked liquor cabinet. And then at other times, I think about how I could have done things differently. How I should have gone to UMich, UCLA, or jeez, even The U. How I should have gotten out of my small town. Grown up away from familiarity. Would things have been that different? Would the failed toxic friendships I've had here lasted? Ended earlier? Would I be engaged? I hope not. To that last one anyway.

Other times, I completely want everything to be different. I wish that I had applied to college as a theater major, faced my stage fright, moved out to LA and tried being a struggling actress. Became a waitress, complained about tips, lived that stereotype. Or took a stab at comedy. Or journalism. Became a reporter. Or sports analyst.

The point is, I had to decide too soon. So many of us had to decide too soon. Freshman year, I was already taking major-concentrated classes. I had no time to take random classes here and there and decide. I mean, I could have. We all have that option. But if I did that, I'd be in more debt than I already am. And there's no point to that.

Hmm. That's neither here nor there right now. I'm definitely of the belief that the collegiate system in America is flawed. But I can't change it. Not right now. Maybe if I went to law school...

So. Life. It happens. It's part of the reason I hate grandfather clocks (or clocks that tick too loudly...or at all): they measure time. They show just how fast it's passing. It's depressing. I don't like to think about time. I just like to act. To get as much in as possible. It leads to rushed decisions, trust me. I am in no way advocating living like me. But I have no regrets yet. Or none that come to mind too easily. So far.

What am I saying? Not much of anything. Just complaining that time is passing. I talk about it because it's inevitable and that bothers me. And I like to ramble. So.

To sign off, have this: the play that I mentioned earlier.
Have a good year.